Week 2 Day 1 COMPLETE

Okay, so I didn’t blog about my last two times out. I went out the morning of 10/31 and it was really difficult to keep going. I could barely run the sixty seconds, and it was painful walking. The whole thing was hard.

So, I got a new fangled phone…it’s kind of like the stepchild of the iPhone, but I think it’s pretty damn awesome. I downloaded an app that will track your runs/walks, etc, so I did that and here are my stats! I love stats. LOL

Distance: 1.83 miles

 Average Pace: 16.40 min/mi

Calories burned (based on my weight and pace): 399

Time: 30 mins.

Of course that doesn’t include the strength training I did beforehand. I’ve completely forgotten what I did…

After that the next time I went out was on 11/04. I was just so emotionally spent that I just didn’t have it in me to run or anything. Instead, my roommate and I took a brisk walk. It really lifted the spirits. And since I’m a geek, here are the stats for that!

Distance: 1.72 miles

Pace 19:11 min/mi

Calories: 265

Time: 33 mins

What’s funny is that it’s not that much different from my runs. LOL

Then, finally, on Saturday I went out there to do my first Week 2 run. I kicked my ass with the following circuit:

Climbing up the stairs, doing 5 pushups at the top, going down and doing 5 lunges for each side. I did this three times…and I’m STILL sore.

Then I did my Week 2 run…and I finished it!! I felt really good. I felt like I was really pushing myself, but not beyond what I couldn’t do. No wonder the Couch to 5K program is so popular!

Here are my stats for that run.

Distance 2.13 miles

Pace 15.50 min/mi

Calories 463

Time: 33 mins

Considering that I’m now doing 90 second runs and two minute walks instead of 60 second runs and 90 second walks…I really can’t say that this is progress. I’ll have to wait until the next couple of Week 2 runs to see it.

I was supposed to have done my second run this morning, but I stayed up way too late last night. Nevertheless, I’m feeling like I might be losing some weight. I’m wearing a sweater today that used to be a bit tighter than it is now. Might just be me…but I thought that was awesome. Way awesome.

So…that’s it!

Is hair really worth it?

So…I have awesome blue in my hair. There is even a little purple. I’ve had a lot of different colors in my hair over the years…and the one thing that stripped it faster than anything else was chlorine.

So…I have a dream of participating in a a sprint distance triathlon in the next year (if I’m going to be ambitious) or two (if I’m going to be smart), but I certainly can’t be running, swimming, and riding my bike and expect my hair to survive the chlorine and frequent showers.

I’m not sure if I want to give up funky colors in my hair because I really love them there…but I don’t want to NOT swim because I want to keep color in my hair.

It’s a really stupid obstacle that I’m not quite sure what to do with. The answer is obviously clear to everyone…but I am reluctant to accept that.

What do I do?

A Little Inspiration

Just a little something that I wanted to post.

Week 1/Day 2 Repeat

Okay…back to the routine! I took Wednesday off, and I sort of felt that absence of activity…but I think it’s what my body and mind needed after my grandma’s death. But, now back to it.

Strength exercise circuit was as follows, and, as usual, did it three times:

3 Rounds of stairs

10 Hip abductors, each side ( think that’s what they’re called)

10 tricep things, each side

10 squats

Headed out for my run, and it was a bit difficult, but I found that I had to extend my usual route. Sooooo….perhaps the difficulty was in the fact that I might have been going faster? This would be a very good sign of progress and probably that I’m ready to tackle Week 2 of C25K.

I’ve been reading Jayne Williams’ book Shape Up with the Slow, Fat Triathlete (A Fitness Guide For the Rest of Us). So far, it’s extremely practical and inspiring. It’s totally helped with getting me mentally focused and in the right frame of mind. So…I might be fat, slow, and wear stretchy pants…but I don’t care. I enjoy working out. I look forward to hitting the road and sweating my brains out. It’s actually fun…sometimes painful…but I love it, and I want to do more…now.

Now, this may fall under the category of copyright infringement or plagiarism or something illegal I’m sure, but it’s too awesome not to share.

The Imperfect Athlete’s Bill of Rights

I, an imperfect athlete, hold these rights to be inalienable, and I will arm wrestle anyone who tries to deprive you of them.

You have the right to be there, no matter how much “better” than you everyone else may be.

You have the right to wear Lycra, no matter what shape your body has.

You have the right to try any sport or activity you like, at any age.

You have the right to sweat.

You have the right to develop your inner athlete, even if it sometimes inconveniences someone else’s schedule.

You have the right to go as slow as you need to.

You have the right to take a nap.

You have the right to make your activity fun in whatever way you want.

You have the right to eat chocolate.

You have the right to be free of self-consciousness, everywhere and all the time.

So, thank you Jayne for these great things to keep in mind!

I’m really looking forward to this continued journey towards fitness!

Now it’s time to stretch…these muscles are tight. LOL

Fat Athletic Clothing

I’m sure someone out there has their lists of online stores to shop at for good athletic clothing. My workout clothes…a top and a pair of spandex-type capris…have lasted me for nearly three years and are still going strong. I got them from Junonia. I’d love to get another set of clothes, but these work so well for me that I haven’t really had the need. They fit, they wick away sweat, and they’re comfy. Still…it would be nice to have a top that fits better than the one I have. It’s a little big and shapeless.

Yes, I am that vain.

The only thing that I’m super annoyed about are the selections of sports bras out there. I don’t generally like to buy those online because it’s better to try them on first. The bra I have is a joke, but I’ve had it for as long as I’ve had my workout clothes…and it’s about ready to fall apart. I desperately need a new one.

I’ve been reading Jayne Williams’ “Slow, Fat, Triathlete” and aside from being super inspiring, the book is super informative. See, she has unruly girls like I have, and recommended the Enell brand very highly. Looking it up online, I’d say that it would definitely be boob armor…which I need. I’m tired of avoiding bouncy exercises because of my gargantuan boobs.

So, there are two stores here that sell that brand, and I’m going this weekend to try some on, and, possibly, get one.

Next up on the shopping list is a better pair of shoes and some decent insoles.

But, tomorrow, Week 1/Day 2.

Weird day

So, the run went well…but as soon I got home and ate breakfast (that my lovely brother made!), I went back to sleep. Since he went off to class, I just hung out in his room…watched some shows on Hulu and napped.

Then it was time to go see grandma and say goodbye. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I don’t think you’re quite prepared for seeing the body of someone you cared so deeply for. When my mom died, it was entirely different. I was so much in shock from her death that I don’t remember much…except for being in shock. This time around, I wasn’t so much in shock because we all expected it and I had dealt with the idea of losing grandma for sometime before she actually died…rather, I wasn’t sure  how I felt. Maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet.

Since her body is going to be cremated, there wasn’t a casket, nor was there any makeup or anything put on her. To be quite honest, I like it better that way. She was on the stretcher, her hair combed, face washed, and a nice quilt over her body…and she was just…so accessible. I touched her hair, and touched her hand which was under the quilt. I didn’t really want to touch her skin, even though I could feel the cold from underneath the blanket. All the same, that’s what I personally needed to do…touch her for the final time…see her actually gone. I have a huge sense of peace from that. I’m so glad that I was able to do that. The only thing that worries me is that I didn’t cry. Whatever chemicals they were using to keep the smell down or whatever made me really queasy, but I didn’t cry. Maybe I will later…which is okay.

Someday soon I feel that I’m going to be called to help people at the time of death…whether it’s their own, or a loved one. I just feel like death is so important in my life that I need to be close to it. Is that strange? I don’t think so. It’s not like I’m morbid or anything…I just feel that there is not enough healthy attention paid to those who are dying or losing a loved one that the whole issue of death is mysterious and scary. And while it really IS mysterious and scary, there is also a lot of healing and understanding when you are able to accept it for what it is.

I dunno.

I’m going to miss my grandma something fierce…but I really hope that I can be like her. Stubborn, independent, funny, loving, and beautiful.

Hugs and kisses to you, gramma!

Week 1: Redux

Not sure if that means “repeat”….but it sounded good. LOL

So, today I started my second round of Week 1. I felt a lot better about it, even though I’m still feeling tightness in my shins and feet. This time around I didn’t stop to stretch at all, and I think I was better off. Well, I stopped once, but it didn’t really help. So…Week 1, Day 1 COMPLETE.

I was all over the map in terms of my strength exercises, so I don’t really feel like I got a good burn going. I’m not as hungry as I usually am after my workouts. Ah well. Next time I’ll be back home and on my own turf.

Today we are going to do funereal type things…and then I’m back home tomorrow.

Week 1 Day 2 – COMPLETED

So, I got myself up at 4.55 after a wee snuggle with the cats. I actually woke up at about 4 a.m…no idea why. Irritated me to no end considering that I got to bed at about 11. I could have used that 55 minutes of sleep. I put on my clothes, filled my water bottle, stuck in my headphones and headed out.

I planned to do pretty much the same thing as last time, but adding an extra round to my circuit. As I started, I decided to do my circuit this way:

Reading Material!

Even though I play it safe and just generally admit that I don’t read much…there is nothing like a good nonfiction book to get me reeled in and reading.

R recommended that I read Slow, Fat, Triathlete by Jayne Williams. So, I just ordered a copy for $3. I’m not really supposed to be buying anything right now…but I think this is a good exception. For $5 I ordered her other book, The Shape Up with the Slow, Fat, Triathlete. I’m really excited to dive into these books and see what she has to say. I’m really interested in hearing more about being a “fat athlete.” I’ve always felt that I could do so much more than I thought I could with my body. For whatever reason, saying that I could do these things “when I lost weight” seemed more like a cop-out than anything else. Why wait? Why not go for it and see how far I can get?

Okay…off the computer…it’s time to get to bed. Gotta get up and workout tomorrow.

Well….hi!

It’s been…a year and a half. I moved this blog over to LiveJournal and kept up with it for a few months and then it just fell by the wayside.

I haven’t given up exercising, as I’ve been doing it pretty much twice a week with my trainer. I haven’t given up eating well, even though I don’t do it as much as I should. 

The most important thing that’s changed in the last year and a half has been my mental state. Without going into too much detail, I’ve been dealing with depression for about ten years or so. I never really thought it was as disabling as it really was…but I really had no life and no desire to change that. Imagine sitting around in your house all the time…isolated, alone, listening to the cyclical negative self talk in your head, wondering why in the hell you can’t stick with something and see it through…that was my life. No wonder I gained so much weight during those years. I hated myself and I hated myself for not being able to change it. Granted, I did try lots of things…therapy, counseling, religion, exercising…and they all worked for a time, but I was just unable to do my part so they never worked.

About six months ago I was getting into some hot water at work regarding my attendance and performance, and I realized that I couldn’t afford to being going up and down like I was. My doctor prescribed a very lose dose of antidepressants and my life literally changed. I resisted taking meds because I didn’t want a false sense of happiness or no feelings at all…I wanted to feel more than just self-loathing and deep sadness. So, I started taking them, and my outlook on life started to change. After awhile, I noticed that those negative voices in my head were so quiet that I didn’t need to drown them out with television or music or food…I noticed that I actually wanted to go out with friends…I noticed that I said “yes” more often to new things…I noticed that I was beginning to make that connection between thinking and action.

Needless to say, since exercise and fitness is 90% mental exertion, I noticed that my workouts became better and I was trying harder and focusing more. I no longer felt like I was pulling teeth trying to get myself to work…and I started to really crave the workouts. However, I also recognized that when I wasn’t working out with my trainer, I wasn’t working out. This was a problem, but I didn’t think much about it. My trainer was my foundation, why should I leave something that important to me?

About a month ago, I started therapy. It’s kind of an unconventional kind of therapy that I won’t really go into here, but it’s been really, really helpful in getting me off my ass and working on fixing some things in my life that are severely broken.  My finances, for one, are in shambles and I’m not in a position to do much of anything that I really want to do…like buy a car, go on trips, etc. So, my therapist, S, started helping me get it together, and he strongly suggested that I cut my trainer to save money. I agreed to do it for a month or two just to get my head above water, but I knew I’d need her eventually.

Then I started thinking about it. What if I didn’t need her at all? What if I was using her to avoid taking responsibility for my own health? I mean…when I was with her, I didn’t really need to be thinking about what I was doing aside from good form. Wasn’t the whole point of hiring her to learn from her and then eventually go out on my own? R and I talked about it, and when she said the same thing…I knew that I probably wouldn’t hire her back…that I would be doing this on my own. She will still be my cheerleader, and she’s an awesome one, and she will still be my friend…but she taught me well, and now it’s my turn. It’s my body, and I have complete control and freedom over what I do with it. I need to claim that.

So, after a week of not doing much beyond a few walks here and there…I finally decided that if I didn’t force myself to do a workout, I’d never do it. So, I decided that Saturday (this past Saturday) I’d go out on my own at 7.30 am like R and I would always do, and kick my own ass. I didn’t have much of a plan, but I knew that I needed to do some strength training and that I wanted to tackle Couch to 5K again

Saturday morning came. The night before I had planned to sabotage myself by not setting my alarm. Whoooops. No matter, I naturally woke up at 7 a.m. Figures, right? I laid there, staring at my clock, snuggled under my down comforter with one cat at my feet and the other on my chest and I very seriously contemplated just not doing it and getting more sleep. Something in me, however, blew a whistle and said NO. If you don’t do this now, you will feel like you’ve failed yourself. You have the control and freedom to get out there and give it your best shot. You’ll be so proud of yourself if you do. Don’t you want to change things? Don’t you want to get out there and LIVE?

I actually listened to the voice, got up, put my workout uniform on, got some water, downloaded a podcast for my jog…and headed outside. I live next to a school with a huge field. I figured that I could some exercises there, and then just jog around the field. That way I don’t have far to go. With Madonna’s Confessions on the Dancefloor pumping away in my ears, I did a long warm up walk around the huge block that the school is on, and then came back where I noticed a set of metal stairs. Perfect for climbing! So I went up and down about five times. Yeah…my butt and legs felt that one.

At that point, my old friend, Arch Pain, came by…and my feet started to hurt really bad. Whenever I do lunges, stair steps, anything where I stomp my feet in any capacity, my feet protest LOUDLY. Still, I pushed on and did those lunges, ten for each foot. Then I did twelve pushups using a wire cage protecting a water pump nearby, and followed with about fifteen squats. I shook out my feet, tried stretching them (bring tears to my eyes), and did that circuit again. It was very hard, there was good pain…but there was the bad pain in my feet. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do my interval run. I started walking around to stretch my feet again, and immediately the foot pain eased up and went away. But as soon as I stopped and stood, the pain was back.

So.

I turned on my Week 1 podcast for C25K and started in. No foot pain. I did the first sixty seconds of jogging, and I expected my feet and shins to tighten up like they usually did…but it never came. Ninety seconds walking. It was cold out, felt good. Jog. Walk. Jog. Walk. By the time the fourth set came and went, I was kind of freaked out in a good way that I was feeling really good about this. I was pacing myself, controlling my breathing, had great form, remembering everything my trainer had told me. The sixth set came by and I started to grin…I knew that I was going to finish it. Yes, I was tired, my legs were tired, but not enough to stop. The FINAL set came and went…and I was done. I finished. No unusual bad pain…just super high. I laughed to myself, and smiled the entire cool down and back home. I did my stretching, ate a high protein breakfast, showered…and I just couldn’t believe that I actually did it.

So…with one victory under my belt, I’ve been thinking ahead about what to do for the next workout (which just happens to be tomorrow morning). I’ve been looking up various body weight exercises to do, and thinking about getting some resistance bands. Maybe I could focus on one section of my body per session…upper body on Saturdays, lower body on Mondays, core on Wednesdays. I’m excited for this…and convinced that I can do it. There is no reason NOT to.

And, of course, now that I’m excited about working out again…my thoughts turn to a dream goal. Doing a triathalon. No…not “when I’m thin” but when I’m ready. Depending on when I get a bike and decide that I can sacrifice having awesomely dyed hair so I can swim. We’ll see.

Tomorrow morning I’m planning doing the same things as Saturday, except adding one more round to my circuit.