times, they are a-changin’

Changes, changes, changes. We live in a constant state of change. We’re fooling ourselves if we think otherwise. And, by ‘we’ I totally mean ‘me.’

So, this weekend I visited the gym for the first time since the holidays. Not to work out, but to check in with my personal trainer. I decided that, in order to get a good start on this weight loss thing, I needed some consistant ass-kicking. So, while I can afford it, I’m going to pay someone to kick my ass for me since I don’t have anyone in my life who can do it for me. I’ll be going in for my ass-kicking twice a week. This is probably going to be the best thing I’ve ever spent my money on. In fact, I’m curious to try to start a savings program at the same time. Every time I want to go eat fast food or eat out because I’m too lazy to cook (this doesn’t, of course, count going out with friends and stuff), I should put the money I would have spent into savings. And this savings would go towards offsetting the cost of personal training sessions. In theory, that’s a great idea, huh? The trick is to put into practice. I bet that I could do it…and that I’d be surprised at the results. Then again…I always pile too much on my plate and then get discouraged that I couldn’t do it all.

Anyway…so, my measurements were taken, including…dum dum duuuuuuum…my weight. The scale listed me as 301. Funny, ‘cause my scale at home said 290 that very morning. I guess the gym scale is off, but whatever. It’s just a number. What’s important is making that number go down, no matter what it starts out as. And the other important thing is making my measurements get smaller too. Hehe. So, amazingly, I’m not depressed or ashamed or discouraged about it. It’ll get lower.

I did do some walking on the treadmill that day, and had the chance to use my nifty new heart rate monitor. It’s more useful than I anticipated it to be. It actually tells you how many calories you’ve burned based on your weight and height that you preset and your heart rate as you exercise! There are some other measurements of which I’m not sure the importance could be, but in time it’ll come to me.

My meals have been a mish-mash of good and bad. I have been visiting fast food joints, but I make a point to order a salad if I find myself at a drive-thru. Still not completely healthy…but, you know, sometimes I really do turn off my brain and go about business as usual…and that includes a quick meal from a drive thru. Personal victories in that department have been 1) not getting that cheeseburger that I had originally left the house to get and ordering a salad, or 2) talking myself out of eating there entirely. I’ve also been making a point to eat at home more. Quick meals include, but aren’t limited to (because some of my fave restaurants deliver), salad topped with a fruit, a vegetable, and grilled chicken. Oh, and, most recently, Toby’s Feta salad dressing. I could do with a little less dressing, but hey…baby steps. Also, I’ve continued to allow myself ice cream by getting Skinny Cow products. They’re really good, and don’t do a lot of damage. And allow myself only one box per week or week and a half (each box comes with four to six servings). Now…whether or not the box actually lasts the entire week is another story…but I’m a compulsive eater…so I think you know what happens.

My main obstacle with eating is keeping it up during the work day. I almost never prepare my lunches the day before, so I usually end up eating both breakfast and lunch from the deli downstairs at work. For breakfasts, it’s not so bad. I get a carton of non fat milk and a granola bar. If I’m really bad, I’ll go to Starbucks and get a non-fat latte and a bagel. Then for lunch I’ll usually get something from downstairs. I try to stick with salads, but sometimes those salads aren’t very appealing. I’d do better to stick a ton of lettuce in a Tupperware and eat that instead.

Anyway…I’ve babbled on enough for today. Expect more updates as I start getting my ass kicked at the gym and continue saying no to what I really, really want. (and sometimes saying yes…hehe)

The good news in all of this is that my personal trainer believes that I can be 100 lbs lighter by the end of this year for my 30^th birthday. Maybe she says that to get me to pay for more sessions, but I’m going to choose to go with it. Even if I don’t lose that much by the end of the year, I’ll at least be lighter and I’ll have done all that I could have to get healthy. This has to be my main objective this year.

Okay.